By Brother Damien Price
One of the strong memories from my childhood was my parents Zena or Frank reminding us to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’.
They were constant in their gentle insistence that we appreciate what was being done for us.
On the wall of my bedroom I have an A4 page with the words, “Damien, what are you grateful for?” I deliberately placed this question there to remind me to never cease from being grateful.
Gratitude is a heart skill. It needs to be learned, practised often – doing it your way but doing it authentically and from your heart. In time, gratitude becomes part of you. It becomes a mindset and a heart set.
Sadly, we often see the opposite of gratitude: ego and entitlement. Too often I am seeing this in the young people I work with.
When we are entitled, life owes us a living. When we are entitled, we don’t value the essentials – because our eyes are glued on the extravagant.
When we are entitled, a small beast grows inside of us wanting ‘more’ and that beast is NEVER satisfied.
When we are entitled, we fail to see the beauty right under our nose, in the simple things, in the true things, in the things that will truly hug our hearts and gift us with real happiness.
But don’t go working on ‘not being entitled’. Rather, practise mindfulness and practise gratitude, then the entitlement beast will become but a whisper and ‘ego’ will lose its power:
- Once a month find yourself a quiet space and make a list – “What am I grateful for?”
- Once a month find yourself a quiet space and make a list – “Who am I grateful for?” Then, quietly sit with this list and allow it to hug you.
- Practise mindfulness – become aware of the beauty all around you and especially in the small and simple things – find YOUR way of doing this – a note stuck to your wall, an alarm on your phone that reminds you to stop and look and feel and wonder and appreciate.
- Say please – as simple and yet as powerful as that.
- Say thank you – as simple and yet as powerful as that – and teach your children to do the same.
- When leaving a restaurant or function where someone has ‘waited on you’ – if they are wearing a name badge quietly say, “Thank you Helen!”
- Find your sacred place – a beach, a forest, a part of the garden – wherever – and sit in silence and take in the beauty all around you – embrace the silence too.
- Make a list of the people in your life who you have not seen or spoken to or visited recently – make a diary entry to catch up with them with ‘no strings attached’ – simply a no agenda visit.
- Give yourself and your loved ones a hug – and allows your loved ones to give you one too – and don’t forget ‘hugs’ take a hundred different forms.
- Finally, remember Desiderata, “You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars” – but a child of wonder and gratitude – not a spoiled entitled brat. Remember St Paul writing to the Ephesians 2:10 “You are God’s work of Art!”
Celebrate and appreciate that work of art – and all the other masterpieces that are the tapestry of your life!
Suddenly, you will notice you are more balanced in your life. You will notice that you are not as worried about trivial concerns. You will notice beauty all around you. You will notice that are you growing in awe of the simple and the beautiful.
You will notice that you value and cherish, hold lightly and hug more intensely.
Brother Damien Price is a former teacher in Brisbane schools including St Patrick’s College, St Columban’s College, St Laurence’s College and St Joseph’s College, Gregory Terrace. He continues to work with schools across the country.